Some people reading this will be baffled, and say to themselves "What nonsense!" perhaps it is because turtles cannot be purple, or invisible, or both. Well, these people are just close minded simpletons. After all, is not seeing something really a proper basis for disbelief? Would you question me if I told you air is not real? Probably not, unless you are truly skeptical of everything that passes by your upturned nose. I can tell you with the utmost certainty that this special breed of turtle is real, as I have seen them, felt them, and experienced them. Why am I so lucky to have done so and you are not? I dunno, I guess animals just like me. I fed a turtle a mango once, and it probably went into the woods, telling all of it's little aquatic reptilian friends "Hey, the big pink one has food!" and ever since then I have been swarmed by invisible, purple turtles. Honestly, we should be thanking the little buggers. If they didn't exist, we wouldn't have idiots tripping up and down sidewalks for our entertainment. Honestly, some people can be so ignorant. The next thing you'll be telling me is that Dragons aren't real. Hello, fossils?
Caravaggio, The Taking of Christ, 1602
Tenebrism
Tuesday, March 3, 2015
The Invisible Purple Turtle
The invisible purple turtle is a rare creature indeed. Few people have ever been so fortunate as to lay eyes upon it. It's large, but not too large. The fact that it can be purple and invisible simultaneously is one of life's great mysteries. The most common form of encountering these creatures is when you are walking, and you seemingly trip on nothing. In actuality, you have just tripped on a fairly average-sized invisi-purple turtle. Don't worry, this doesn't harm the turtle, as they have evolved to endure even the most swift of kicks.
Some people reading this will be baffled, and say to themselves "What nonsense!" perhaps it is because turtles cannot be purple, or invisible, or both. Well, these people are just close minded simpletons. After all, is not seeing something really a proper basis for disbelief? Would you question me if I told you air is not real? Probably not, unless you are truly skeptical of everything that passes by your upturned nose. I can tell you with the utmost certainty that this special breed of turtle is real, as I have seen them, felt them, and experienced them. Why am I so lucky to have done so and you are not? I dunno, I guess animals just like me. I fed a turtle a mango once, and it probably went into the woods, telling all of it's little aquatic reptilian friends "Hey, the big pink one has food!" and ever since then I have been swarmed by invisible, purple turtles. Honestly, we should be thanking the little buggers. If they didn't exist, we wouldn't have idiots tripping up and down sidewalks for our entertainment. Honestly, some people can be so ignorant. The next thing you'll be telling me is that Dragons aren't real. Hello, fossils?
Some people reading this will be baffled, and say to themselves "What nonsense!" perhaps it is because turtles cannot be purple, or invisible, or both. Well, these people are just close minded simpletons. After all, is not seeing something really a proper basis for disbelief? Would you question me if I told you air is not real? Probably not, unless you are truly skeptical of everything that passes by your upturned nose. I can tell you with the utmost certainty that this special breed of turtle is real, as I have seen them, felt them, and experienced them. Why am I so lucky to have done so and you are not? I dunno, I guess animals just like me. I fed a turtle a mango once, and it probably went into the woods, telling all of it's little aquatic reptilian friends "Hey, the big pink one has food!" and ever since then I have been swarmed by invisible, purple turtles. Honestly, we should be thanking the little buggers. If they didn't exist, we wouldn't have idiots tripping up and down sidewalks for our entertainment. Honestly, some people can be so ignorant. The next thing you'll be telling me is that Dragons aren't real. Hello, fossils?
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Blaming your clumsiness on those swarms invisible purple turtles again are you? I mean if purple turtles aren't real, then explain this; http://www.bbtoystore.com/mm5/beanies/TYBL_B_tiki-38125.jpg
ReplyDeleteFull proof evidence right there.
In all seriousness, I love that quote by Niel deGrasse he's such an awesome guy. Did you know he was voted Sexiest Astrophysicist Alive by People Magazine in 2000?
I also don't understand what you wrote about I feel like the purple turtle has some sort of significance but my inferior mind can not apprehend your mysterious blog post. I enjoyed reading, and please post more blogs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!